Why Emotional Intelligence Is the Missing Link in Dental Practice Success

We’ve all seen it:
A front desk team member rolls their eyes during a difficult patient interaction.
A dental assistant walks out of the operatory after snapping at a colleague.
The tone in the breakroom shifts after one sarcastic comment.

None of these things are about hand skills, CE credits, or clinical protocols.
They’re about something deeper—something more human: emotional intelligence.

After last week’s blog, where I shared the situation in my office where a dental assistant spoke inappropriately, inflaming the emotions of a patient, then threw me under the bus with the comment
”Well, there’s nothing I can do because I’m waiting for the doctor.” I wanted to go a bit deeper into emotional intelligence and how we can help our teams gain that knowledge. That is the goal of today’s blog.

Let’s Go!

In today’s dental practices, stress runs high. Schedules are tight. Patients bring their anxiety and trauma through the front door. Team members do their best—but often with EQ tools they never learned.

And that’s the point: we’re not trained in emotional intelligence.
Yet it’s one of dentistry's most powerful, practical, and underdeveloped skills today.

What Is Emotional Intelligence (EQ), and Why Does It Matter in Dentistry?

According to psychologist Daniel Goleman, EQ includes five critical capacities:

• Self-awareness: Understanding your emotions as they arise

• Self-regulation: Managing your reactions in the moment

• Empathy: Recognizing what others are feeling

• Motivation: Doing the right thing—even when it's hard

• Social skills: Navigating relationships constructively

In the dental world, this translates to:

• Navigating staff conflicts without escalation

• Helping anxious patients feel heard

• Delivering tough feedback with compassion

• Diffusing tension in moments of stress

• Maintaining culture, even when under pressure

Emotional intelligence isn’t soft—it’s clinical safety. It’s team health. It’s practice longevity.

We Went Deep Into the Literature to Help

To bring practical support to dental leaders and teams, I studied six of the most important books on emotional intelligence and communication—and translated their wisdom into something you can use today, in the operatory and beyond.

Here’s what they taught us:

📘 Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman

Goleman redefined success by showing that IQ only accounts for about 20% of life achievement. The remaining 80%? That’s emotional intelligence—specifically self-awareness, emotional regulation, empathy, motivation, and relationship management. In dentistry, where high-stress environments, patient anxieties, and team dynamics are constant, EQ becomes the core leadership skill. Emotionally intelligent clinicians are better at navigating conflict, building trust, and leading with calm under pressure. Goleman reminds us that being smart may get you in the room—but being emotionally intelligent is what keeps you there and makes others want to stay.

📗 Working with Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman

This workplace-focused sequel dives deeper into how EQ impacts performance. Goleman reveals that emotional competencies—like self-control, adaptability, and empathy—are often twice as important as technical skills in determining leadership effectiveness. The best part? These are trainable skills. Through journaling, feedback loops, and coaching, dental teams can increase trust, collaboration, and resilience. Think of it this way: a well-bonded team isn't just more efficient—they're safer, calmer, and better with patients.

📙 Deliberate Calm by Jacqueline Brassey, Aaron De Smet & Michiel Kruyt

True leaders don’t wait for chaos to calm—they train for it. This book introduces the concept of Deliberate Calm, a framework rooted in neuroscience and designed to help people lead under pressure. The four core skills—adaptability, learning agility, awareness, and emotional self-regulation—are especially relevant in the dental space, where no-shows, emergencies, and high-stakes decisions are daily fare. Brassey et al. argue that leaders must become aware of both their internal (emotional) and external (situational) environments in real-time. Deliberate Calm isn’t a luxury in dentistry—it’s your superpower.

📕 Getting to Zero by Jayson Gaddis

Conflict in the dental practice is inevitable—but avoidance is where the real danger lies. Gaddis introduces the concept of becoming a relational leader, someone who confronts rather than flees from conflict, and who models self-awareness and accountability. The LUFU model (Listen Until they Feel Understood) is a transformative tool for dental teams dealing with interpersonal tension, communication breakdowns, or patient dissatisfaction. Instead of aiming to “win” arguments, Gaddis shows us how conflict can deepen trust—if we’re brave enough to lean in.

📘 Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg

Rosenberg offers a structured, compassionate way to communicate under stress using four core elements: Observation, Feelings, Needs, and Requests. This method strips away blame, judgment, and reactivity and replaces them with clarity and empathy. For dental professionals navigating tough conversations—with staff, patients, or even themselves—NVC is a tool that allows you to stay grounded and connected. The idea? Every conflict hides an unmet need. Speak to that, and you shift the whole energy of the exchange.

📗 How to Take the High Road by Alissa Hebbeln & Russell Kolts

In emotionally charged moments, our brain’s default is to protect—not connect. Hebbeln and Kolts explain how to deactivate our threat response and activate our safeness system instead. This isn't about being passive or avoiding confrontation—it’s about responding with compassion and clarity rather than reactivity. By training your brain through breathwork, visualization, and self-awareness, you build the emotional muscle needed to lead with grace. For dentists and office managers facing daily micro-trigger moments, this practice is key to maintaining dignity—and modeling calm for the team.

Real Tools You Can Use with Your Team

WE combined these summaries with the best of the best in psychology to write an e-book on eQ for the dental team. This isn’t about theory. In our free resource, you’ll find:

• Huddle prompts for discussing real emotional challenges

• Sample scripts for high-stakes conversations with patients or teammates

• Self-awareness and stress reset exercises

• Implementation ideas for onboarding, reviews, and coaching

• Worksheets and visuals to build a shared emotional vocabulary

You don’t need a therapy degree. You just need a commitment to showing up better tomorrow than you did today.

Why This Matters Now

More than 60% of adults see their dentist more often than their doctor.
Dental teams are often the first to notice when something is off—emotionally or physically.

We’re leaders in prevention—not just of decay or disease but also of breakdowns in trust, communication, and culture.

When we train our teams in EQ, we're not just protecting our practice. We’re honoring our patients, our profession, and each other.

📘 Want some training tips for your team?

We created “Speak with Intelligence: Emotional Intelligence & Communication Strategies for Dental Teams to gather the best insights, exercises, and tools into one place.
No catch. Just something we believe in—and use ourselves.

📥 [Download it here]
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You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be practicing.