When Empathy Is Missing on Our Teams: How Coaching and AI Can Prevent Escalations in Dental Teams

It was a typical afternoon at a new dental practice in Missouri, where I was working as a traveling dentist—filling in for a colleague on medical leave. Then I heard a single sentence that ignited a wave of patient frustration…  Not because of clinical care, but because of what was said, how it was said, and what was not said.

The result? A tense environment: we were performing a full-mouth extraction on an anxious patient while also managing care for six others. That one sentence didn’t just dismiss a patient’s concern—it disrupted the surgical space and escalated emotions in an already high-stress scenario

A dental assistant, caught in a moment of impatience, dismissed a waiting patient's concerns with, “Well, there’s nothing I can do because I’m waiting for the doctor.” Minutes later, she interrupted a surgical procedure to inform me that patients were waiting—loudly, and without awareness of the anxious patient in the chair, mid-extraction. The result? A tense environment. That one sentence didn’t just dismiss a patient’s concern—it disrupted the surgical space and escalated emotions in an already high-stress scenario.

These moments happen every day in Dental or Medical practices across the country. And they don’t stem from malice—they stem from a lack of emotional intelligence and communication training.

The Real Cost of Poor Communication

Many dental teams receive training on x-rays, OSHA compliance, or software—but not on the soft skills that keep patient trust intact and regulate the environment that patients are a part of as are our team members.

When team members don’t know how to regulate their tone, read emotional cues, or communicate under stress, they can unintentionally:

    Escalate already tense situations

    Damage the patient-practice relationship

    Create chaos for the provider in critical moments

    Erode the culture and professionalism of the practice

   Or, worse case scenario, the patient becomes violent after being dismissed by your team member. 

According to a recent CE course that I attended (“Preventing Workplace Violence in Dental Settings” by Kimberly Erdman, RDH), “violence in the dental workspace has increased by 89% over the past five years. “  In fact, the speaker spoke of two dentists in a practice trying to help an unsatisfied patient.  The patient left the practice, went to his car, and came back to the practice with A gun and shot both.  Both died.  

What’s often labeled as “bad behavior” is, in many cases, a lack of training on both the patient's and staff's part.  Unfortunately, we can’t do anything about our patients, but we can support our team with personalized training.

Common Signs of Low Emotional Intelligence in Dental Teams Can Include:

• Dismissing patient concerns

• Blaming or externalizing issues (“I’m just waiting for the doctor”)

• Interrupting procedures without urgency

• Responding to frustration with defensiveness

Coaching + AI: A Modern Solution to a Timeless Problem

These situations can’t always be avoided—but they can be dramatically improved with the right approach.

How Coaching Helps

     Builds emotional intelligence (EQ): Self-awareness, empathy, and emotional regulation

     Improves language and tone: Phrasing that reassures instead of agitates

     Equips teams to handle hard conversations: Scripts, role-play, and real-time coaching

     Cultivates professionalism: Even under stress

How AI Supports Your Coaching

Tools like NotebookLM can summarize real feedback and generate better responses for patient communication.

Chat-based AI (like ChatGPT) can simulate difficult conversations so team members can practice responses in a no-risk environment.

Voice AI training tools help staff hear how their tone might come across and make real-time adjustments.

Scenario-based eLearning can offer instant, low-stakes practice on defusing tension and expressing empathy.

A Better Way to Respond

Let’s revisit the earlier example.

Original Response:

     “Well, there’s nothing I can do because I’m waiting for the doctor.”

Coaching-Informed Response: 

    “I understand it’s frustrating to wait. The doctor is currently in surgery, but I promise you’re not forgotten. Can I get you a water while we wait? I’ll keep you updated—thank you so much for your patience.”

Tone matters. Language is leadership. And small phrases can completely change a patient’s experience. 

Just reading that second statement feels better, doesn’t it? 

What You Can Do Right Now

If you’re a practice owner, leader, or team member who wants to prevent situations like this, here are immediate steps you can take:

Coaching Your Team:

     Add an EQ moment to your daily huddles: One example, phrase, or role-play.

     Schedule monthly coaching sessions focused on communication—not just compliance.

     Start a “What to Say When...” handbook with real patient scenarios and best responses.  Those

Scenarios can become part of your toolbox in NotebookLM. 

 AI Tools to Try:

Use NotebookLM to create a shared, searchable team resource library with scripts, policy summaries, and FAQs.

Create a custom AI chatbot for internal training. (The Hanlon Group can help you with that!)

Use ChatGPT to draft responses to common patient concerns and tone-check them before sharing with the team.

Final Thoughts: Empathy is Clinical Safety

To make the day even more interesting, tonight, I’m also attending a continuing education lecture on violence in the workplace as mentioned above.  The link? Most escalations don’t start with punches—they start with tone, attitude, and emotional mismanagement.

Empathy is not optional. It is clinical safety, professional integrity, and the foundation of every positive patient interaction.

 Let’s train for it. Let’s coach for it. And yes—let’s use smart AI tools to support it.

When your team communicates with compassion and confidence, your entire practice becomes not just more productive but profoundly more peaceful.